Wednesday, 11 July 2012

The Saga of CommonSteve

So this weekend I re-entered the competitive yugioh scene by going to a store ran tournament in my local village ending my 6 year retirement from the collectable card game in traditional Simon style (I lost 4 out of 5 games but had lots of fun). That whole experience was a crazy day (listen to my podcast to hear about it) but surprisingly it's not the subject of this week's post. This week's post is about a crazy thing that happened to me after the tournament.
as if a grown ass man playing a children's card game isn't crazy enough
due to my massive amount of fail I enlisted the help of some new friends while making some changes to my deck. I then put it on Dueling Network to test it online while my girlfriend was taking a shower to "wash the nerd off". I played a few games and everything was going well, the changes seemed to have helped the flow of my deck and I had won most of my games. Then I came across Commonsteve. I beat Commonsteve and it made him mad. He wanted a rematch, I said no. That should have been the end of it. It wasn't. The following is a transcript of our conversation with only minor spelling errors edited out. It has to be seen to be believed.

commonsteve: I'd like another rematch
commonsteve: right now
Magnus_Rose: no time mate sorry
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: rematch
Magnus_Rose: plus its two wins
commonsteve: now
Magnus_Rose: nah its ok, I beat you fair and square
commonsteve: rematch
Magnus_Rose: nope, better find another opponent
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: rematch
commonsteve: now
Magnus_Rose: don't want to embarrass you again
commonsteve: I said rematch
Magnus_Rose: nope sorry bro not interested
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: rematch
Magnus_Rose: why are you so desperate?
Magnus_Rose: are you a sucker for punishment?
commonsteve: I want a rematch
commonsteve: right now
commonsteve: now do it
Magnus_Rose: sorry kid, find someone else to hassle
commonsteve: nope
commonsteve: you and me
commonsteve: rematch
commonsteve: right now
Magnus_Rose: sorry man you're not worth it
commonsteve: o rly?
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: rematch
commonsteve: right here
commonsteve: right now
Magnus_Rose: I can't do that Dave
commonsteve: yeah you can
commonsteve: stop making excuses and accept
Magnus_Rose: sorry man, I can't do that
commonsteve: yes you can
commonsteve: now stop making excuses
Magnus_Rose: sorry man I'm busy
commonsteve: that's your excuse?
commonsteve: too busy?
commonsteve: that's no excuse
Magnus_Rose: you don't stand a GHOST of a chance
commonsteve: you got lucky twice in a row
commonsteve: with an overpowered deck
Magnus_Rose: you don't stand a GHOST of a chance
commonsteve: you got lucky with an overpowered deck
Magnus_Rose: it's not overpowered
commonsteve: six sams ARE overpowered
Magnus_Rose: you're just bad at childrien's card games ON THE INTERNET
commonsteve: no questions asked
commonsteve: just accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: I don't accept rematches from TINY BABIES
Magnus_Rose: IS FUNNY TO ME
commonsteve: care to prove it?
Magnus_Rose: yes
commonsteve: then accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: by not accepting your rematch
commonsteve: you can't prove it by not accepting
Magnus_Rose: i can
Magnus_Rose: I can prove I don't accept rematches from babies
Magnus_Rose: by not accepting your rematch
Magnus_Rose: because you are a baby
Magnus_Rose: baby
commonsteve: not accepting my rematch, you're disproving yourself
commonsteve: now just accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: ok
Magnus_Rose: wait I meant no
Magnus_Rose: I won't
Magnus_Rose: because your are a tiny baby man
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: accept it
commonsteve: accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: and if I refuse?
commonsteve: then you'll just prove yourself a skill-less fag
commonsteve: who thinks he won on skill when he won on luck instead
Magnus_Rose: I won on a combination of skill, luck and sex appeal
commonsteve: now you didn't
Magnus_Rose: the same way I win at everything
Magnus_Rose: mainly with sex appeal
commonsteve: you won solely on luck
commonsteve: you have no sex appeal to speak of
commonsteve: and you used a deck that requires little to no skill
Magnus_Rose: I have a lady here who disagrees
commonsteve: that lady is about as real as earth's second moon
Magnus_Rose: and the best decks require no skill because the skill is in the architecture
Magnus_Rose: also earth's second moon (Cruithne) is very much real
Magnus_Rose: just like the lady
Magnus_Rose: you just got SCIENCED bro
commonsteve: you didn't do your research
commonsteve: Cruithne does not orbit earth, its a quasi satellite orbiting the sun but at the same time being effected by earths gravity.
commonsteve: earth only has one moon
commonsteve: now accept my rematch

wow... he really turned that one around on me.Kudos I guess

Magnus_Rose: your opinion on the classification of orbiting bodies is irrelivant
Magnus_Rose: I will not accept your rematch
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: accept my rematch
commonsteve: you claimed you scienced me, and then got proven wrong
commonsteve: then you're just a skill-less little fag who can't get win except on sheer luck
commonsteve: no questions asked
commonsteve: in fact, you're the definition of pathetic
commonsteve: fitting every single part of it's meaning to a T
Magnus_Rose: U MAD?
commonsteve: you make up stuff about yourself to make yourself look superior
commonsteve: and when someone calls you out, you pitch a fit
commonsteve: and refuse to do anything
commonsteve: you act like you can decide what is and isn't
commonsteve: you cannot
Magnus_Rose: I can
Magnus_Rose: I will not rematch you
commonsteve: yes you will
Magnus_Rose: I have complete control over this situation
commonsteve: no you don't
commonsteve: you never had control
commonsteve: you don't control me
Magnus_Rose: oh but I do
Magnus_Rose: YUGI BOY
commonsteve: you coldn't have been more wrong
commonsteve: you have no power
commonsteve: you'll never get laid
commonsteve: and you certainly will never be able to beat others without sheer luck
commonsteve: like I said
commonsteve: you only got lucky twice
commonsteve: I want a rematch
Magnus_Rose: I get lucky allll the time
commonsteve: and so you've come to rely on it
commonsteve: you'll never get far on luck
Magnus_Rose: yes build your castle of illusions child
commonsteve: you think it's illusions?
commonsteve: what I'm saying is the truth
commonsteve: nothing you can do about it
Magnus_Rose: well not really
Magnus_Rose: but whatever helps you stop the voices
Magnus_Rose: do they tell you to touch men?
Magnus_Rose: because you should probably deal with that
commonsteve: you can't decide what is and isn't an illusion with me
commonsteve: now accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: its 2012, its not a big deal anymore
commonsteve: you can't say for sure if the world will end or not
commonsteve: no one can
Magnus_Rose: No I mean no one will care if you come out as gay
Magnus_Rose: its fine, I want you to be happy
commonsteve: then you'll accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: and if thay means you have to question some basic life choices thats cool
commonsteve: accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: just remeber the right man is our there for you somewhere
commonsteve: accept my rematch
commonsteve: now
Magnus_Rose: you've just got to accept who you are man
commonsteve: you called me out for being irrelevant and yet you're doing the exact same thing
Magnus_Rose: if you want to pursue relationships with dudes I'm right behind you
Magnus_Rose: not in a gay way obviously
commonsteve: you know what that makes you?
commonsteve: a hypocrite
Magnus_Rose: the pitcher?
Magnus_Rose: ohhhh right... wait what?
commonsteve: no
commonsteve: a hypocrite
commonsteve: the type no one likes
commonsteve: have fun being hated all your life
Magnus_Rose: actually I'm kind of a big deal
Magnus_Rose: I have many leather bound books
commonsteve: in a non-existant library
Magnus_Rose: and my office smells of rich mahogany
Magnus_Rose: ok, I'm going to say something
Magnus_Rose: I'm just going to put it out there
Magnus_Rose: and you can send it back if you don't like it
Magnus_Rose: I want to be on you
commonsteve: if you're as old and I'm as young as you claim, then you just proved youself to be a pedofile
commonsteve: a homosexual pedofile
commonsteve: at that
Magnus_Rose: I WANT TO BE ON YOU
commonsteve: pathetic
commonsteve: I only want a rematch
commonsteve: then i'll be out of your skin
commonsteve: got it?
Magnus_Rose:  I'm in a glass case of emotion!
commonsteve: then I suppose youre just going to be an arrogant little brat who relies on luck to win while calling said luck
commonsteve: skill
commonsteve: and you'll just end up suffocating in that glass case
commonsteve: and no one will think about you after you're gone
Magnus_Rose: Boy, this escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast!
commonsteve: in fact, everyone would just take a dump on your grave
commonsteve: should they ever think of you
commonsteve: now
commonsteve: I want a rematch
commonsteve: righ there and right now
commonsteve: just accept and I'll stop pestering you
commonsteve: so that's what you want to do?
Magnus_Rose: you should go find a nice lady
Magnus_Rose: be careful though
commonsteve: I'm aware that no lady would accept me
Magnus_Rose: I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
commonsteve: and quite frankly, I don't give a damn
commonsteve: if that's what you're going to do, then you have proven yourself abosolutely pathetic
commonsteve: you claim you've been laid, and yet I proved you haven't
commonsteve: you call me out for being irrelevant and then became irrelevant yourself
commonsteve: thus, you're also a proven hypocrite
Magnus_Rose: the term is irrevrant
Magnus_Rose: you mean irrevrant
commonsteve: no
Magnus_Rose: as in lacking reverence
commonsteve: the term I'm referring to is Irrelevant
Magnus_Rose: you keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means
commonsteve: Irrelevant means "having nothing to do with"
commonsteve: which sums up your faux flirting
Magnus_Rose: nawwww
commonsteve: yes it does
Magnus_Rose: must be nice for you though
Magnus_Rose: getting a bit of quality time with someone
commonsteve: faux generally mean false, bogus, not real, etc.
Magnus_Rose: thanks for the clarification bro
commonsteve: you're were too retarded to even figure it out for yourself
commonsteve: now
commonsteve: accept my rematch
commonsteve: just do it
commonsteve: or you're simply a pathetic little brat who can't win excpet on sheer luck

At this point I went to the kitchen and my grilfriend takes over. We are now resolved to outlast Commonsteve in whatever it is that we are doing

Magnus_Rose: no thanks
commonsteve: just do it
Magnus_Rose: nope
commonsteve: yes
Magnus_Rose: nope
commonsteve: just do it
commonsteve: just accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: no- dont really have the time
commonsteve: yeah you do
commonsteve: stop lying to yourself
Magnus_Rose: im very busy you see
commonsteve: busy with what?
commonsteve: doing nothing
Magnus_Rose: i have to count all my money, and entertain all these women draped over me
commonsteve: all the women who're in your head only and the nonexistant money you've got
commonsteve: there's plenty of better things to do
commonsteve: like accepting my rematch
Magnus_Rose: actually, in a hilarious turn of events you are speaking to a woman- right now, take in this moment
commonsteve: I quite frankly don't care about that
Magnus_Rose: and I cant accept your rematch, because I am busy doing lady things
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: why are you so worried about this rematch
commonsteve: I don't have to tell you
commonsteve: I want a rematch
commonsteve: plain and simple
Magnus_Rose: honestly, if its to compensate for something then you know- thats a silly way to compensate
commonsteve: just accept, and I'll be on my way
commonsteve: just accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: is it because you are commonsteve and not ultrararesteve
Magnus_Rose: because i see how you'd get a complex from that
commonsteve: I chose commonsteve to spite theidiots who think they're cool just because they chose a name that would sound cool on paper
commonsteve: that's my reason
commonsteve: and you can't change it
commonsteve: no questions asked
Magnus_Rose: i dont want to change it
Magnus_Rose: its a fine name
commonsteve: flattery will get you no where
Magnus_Rose: im not trying to flatter you
commonsteve: sarcasm or no, you technically were
Magnus_Rose: ... right- it wasnt sarcasm
Magnus_Rose: its just a name bro
Magnus_Rose: im sure one day youll be just as good as ultrararesteve
Magnus_Rose: when you balls drop maybe
commonsteve: I'm sticking with commonsteve
Magnus_Rose: and you are no longer a tiny little boy
commonsteve: you act like you can decide what I am, don't you
commonsteve: you have no such power
commonsteve: and guess what?
commonsteve: yo never will
commonsteve: no questions asked
Magnus_Rose: i dont really care about who you are man
Magnus_Rose: i dont want that kind of power
Magnus_Rose: with great power- comes great responsibility
Magnus_Rose: spiderman taught me that
Magnus_Rose: he also said 'don't give rematches to little boys on the internet'
commonsteve: no he didn't
commonsteve: stop lying to yourself
Magnus_Rose: and face it- youll never be as sexy as spiderman
commonsteve: I don't care
Magnus_Rose: id give him SO MANY rematches
Magnus_Rose: he could have as many as he wanted
commonsteve: too bad he isn't real
Magnus_Rose: yeah- i know right
Magnus_Rose: well never mind
commonsteve: now, accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: no thanks
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: look, its really not in your best interests to keep this up
Magnus_Rose: just go find a new match bro
commonsteve: then you're pathetic
Magnus_Rose: nah, im not pathetic
commonsteve: yes you are
Magnus_Rose: you sir- you are the pathetic one
commonsteve: how so?
commonsteve: so?
commonsteve: what are?
commonsteve: are you scared that you
commonsteve: will lose in our rematch
commonsteve: you claim it's meaningless
Magnus_Rose: im eating now
commonsteve: in which case, there is no true reason NOT to accept
Magnus_Rose: good luck in your future endeavours
commonsteve: just accept my rematch
commonsteve: you're an absolute waste of life
commonsteve: and you know it
commonsteve: fone
commonsteve: go right ahead and deny it all
Magnus_Rose: BUT WHO WAS "FONE"
commonsteve: you only prove my point
commonsteve: that's all you can do at this point anyway
commonsteve: you put it in caps?
commonsteve: how immature
Magnus_Rose: YES
Magnus_Rose: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
commonsteve: you act like caps lock = awesome
commonsteve: it isn't
commonsteve: and it never will be
commonsteve: and you will never change that
commonsteve: pathetic
Magnus_Rose: it is if you're daniel bryan
Magnus_Rose: google it bitch
commonsteve: oh, using stronger words, are we?
Magnus_Rose: i can use it
Magnus_Rose: because im a lady
commonsteve: by using an excuse
Magnus_Rose: im like tasty chinese food, and you're not
Magnus_Rose: you're like kung pow chicken
Magnus_Rose: that makes you my kung pow bitch
commonsteve: meanwhile, you're an overweight slut who acts superior to everyone else
Magnus_Rose: now take your fake desk of cards, shine them up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass
commonsteve: why?
Magnus_Rose: why do think
commonsteve: why?
Magnus_Rose: why do you think?
commonsteve: why?
commonsteve: you want to know why?
commonsteve: you want to know why you're such an overweight slut?
commonsteve: no one would like you
commonsteve: ever
commonsteve: umad?
Magnus_Rose: i activate my trap card
commonsteve: you have no trap cards
commonsteve: this isn't a duel
Magnus_Rose: i activate the most electrifying man in sports entertainment
commonsteve: you couldn't play one even if you had no choice
Magnus_Rose: A DUEL OF WITS
Magnus_Rose: if I had no choice then I wouldnt have a choice
Magnus_Rose: you see how that would work
Magnus_Rose: not having a choice
Magnus_Rose: because one would exist
Magnus_Rose: unlike this situation
Magnus_Rose: where I do
commonsteve: wow
commonsteve: ranting
commonsteve: that the best you can do?
commonsteve: umad?
Magnus_Rose: no im very chilled
Magnus_Rose: its a fine sunday evening

And with that the conversation ended. What just happened? I don't know. Did we get trolled? I don't know. Sometimes the internet can be a very strange place.

Stay Crunchy

1 comment:

  1. Oh my lord. This guy. I've had run-ins with this guy. He wasn't trolling you. That's how he acts towards everyone who he thinks wronged him. He's on TV Tropes and openly admits on his profile page to being arrogant and obsessed with revenge.

    Actually, I was wondering, are you on TV Tropes yourself, by any chance? And if so, after this exchange, did you find yourself the subject of harassment by someone called "The Nerf Guy?