The Saga of CommonSteve

So this weekend I re-entered the competitive yugioh scene by going to a store ran tournament in my local village ending my 6 year retirement from the collectable card game in traditional Simon style (I lost 4 out of 5 games but had lots of fun). That whole experience was a crazy day (listen to my podcast to hear about it) but surprisingly it's not the subject of this week's post. This week's post is about a crazy thing that happened to me after the tournament.

as if a grown ass man playing a children's card game isn't crazy enough

due to my massive amount of fail I enlisted the help of some new friends while making some changes to my deck. I then put it on Dueling Network to test it online while my girlfriend was taking a shower to "wash the nerd off". I played a few games and everything was going well, the changes seemed to have helped the flow of my deck and I had won most of my games. Then I came across Commonsteve. I beat Commonsteve and it made him mad. He wanted a rematch, I said no. That should have been the end of it. It wasn't. The following is a transcript of our conversation with only minor spelling errors edited out. It has to be seen to be believed.



commonsteve: I'd like another rematch
commonsteve: right now
Magnus_Rose: no time mate sorry
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: rematch
Magnus_Rose: plus its two wins
commonsteve: now
Magnus_Rose: nah its ok, I beat you fair and square
commonsteve: rematch
Magnus_Rose: nope, better find another opponent
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: rematch
commonsteve: now
Magnus_Rose: don't want to embarrass you again
commonsteve: I said rematch
Magnus_Rose: nope sorry bro not interested
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: rematch
Magnus_Rose: why are you so desperate?
Magnus_Rose: are you a sucker for punishment?
commonsteve: I want a rematch
commonsteve: right now
commonsteve: now do it
Magnus_Rose: sorry kid, find someone else to hassle
commonsteve: nope
commonsteve: you and me
commonsteve: rematch
commonsteve: right now
Magnus_Rose: sorry man you're not worth it
commonsteve: o rly?
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: rematch
commonsteve: right here
commonsteve: right now
Magnus_Rose: I can't do that Dave
commonsteve: yeah you can
commonsteve: stop making excuses and accept
Magnus_Rose: sorry man, I can't do that
commonsteve: yes you can
commonsteve: now stop making excuses
Magnus_Rose: sorry man I'm busy
commonsteve: that's your excuse?
commonsteve: too busy?
commonsteve: that's no excuse
Magnus_Rose: you don't stand a GHOST of a chance
commonsteve: you got lucky twice in a row
commonsteve: with an overpowered deck
Magnus_Rose: you don't stand a GHOST of a chance
commonsteve: you got lucky with an overpowered deck
Magnus_Rose: it's not overpowered
commonsteve: six sams ARE overpowered
Magnus_Rose: you're just bad at childrien's card games ON THE INTERNET
commonsteve: no questions asked
commonsteve: just accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: I don't accept rematches from TINY BABIES
Magnus_Rose: YOU ARE SO SMALL
Magnus_Rose: IS FUNNY TO ME
commonsteve: care to prove it?
Magnus_Rose: yes
commonsteve: then accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: by not accepting your rematch
commonsteve: you can't prove it by not accepting
Magnus_Rose: i can
Magnus_Rose: I can prove I don't accept rematches from babies
Magnus_Rose: by not accepting your rematch
Magnus_Rose: because you are a baby
Magnus_Rose: baby
commonsteve: not accepting my rematch, you're disproving yourself
commonsteve: now just accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: ok
Magnus_Rose: wait I meant no
Magnus_Rose: I won't
Magnus_Rose: because your are a tiny baby man
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: accept it
commonsteve: accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: and if I refuse?
commonsteve: then you'll just prove yourself a skill-less fag
commonsteve: who thinks he won on skill when he won on luck instead
Magnus_Rose: I won on a combination of skill, luck and sex appeal
commonsteve: now you didn't
Magnus_Rose: the same way I win at everything
Magnus_Rose: mainly with sex appeal
commonsteve: you won solely on luck
commonsteve: you have no sex appeal to speak of
commonsteve: and you used a deck that requires little to no skill
Magnus_Rose: I have a lady here who disagrees
commonsteve: that lady is about as real as earth's second moon
Magnus_Rose: and the best decks require no skill because the skill is in the architecture
Magnus_Rose: also earth's second moon (Cruithne) is very much real
Magnus_Rose: just like the lady
Magnus_Rose: you just got SCIENCED bro
commonsteve: you didn't do your research
commonsteve: Cruithne does not orbit earth, its a quasi satellite orbiting the sun but at the same time being effected by earths gravity.
commonsteve: earth only has one moon
commonsteve: now accept my rematch


wow... he really turned that one around on me.Kudos I guess

Magnus_Rose: your opinion on the classification of orbiting bodies is irrelivant
Magnus_Rose: I will not accept your rematch
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: accept my rematch
commonsteve: you claimed you scienced me, and then got proven wrong
commonsteve: then you're just a skill-less little fag who can't get win except on sheer luck
commonsteve: no questions asked
commonsteve: in fact, you're the definition of pathetic
commonsteve: fitting every single part of it's meaning to a T
Magnus_Rose: U MAD?
commonsteve: you make up stuff about yourself to make yourself look superior
commonsteve: and when someone calls you out, you pitch a fit
commonsteve: and refuse to do anything
commonsteve: you act like you can decide what is and isn't
commonsteve: you cannot
Magnus_Rose: I can
Magnus_Rose: I will not rematch you
commonsteve: yes you will
Magnus_Rose: I have complete control over this situation
commonsteve: no you don't
commonsteve: you never had control
commonsteve: you don't control me
Magnus_Rose: oh but I do
Magnus_Rose: YUGI BOY
commonsteve: you coldn't have been more wrong
commonsteve: you have no power
commonsteve: you'll never get laid
commonsteve: and you certainly will never be able to beat others without sheer luck
commonsteve: like I said
commonsteve: you only got lucky twice
commonsteve: I want a rematch
Magnus_Rose: I get lucky allll the time
commonsteve: and so you've come to rely on it
commonsteve: you'll never get far on luck
Magnus_Rose: yes build your castle of illusions child
commonsteve: you think it's illusions?
commonsteve: what I'm saying is the truth
commonsteve: nothing you can do about it
Magnus_Rose: well not really
Magnus_Rose: but whatever helps you stop the voices
Magnus_Rose: do they tell you to touch men?
Magnus_Rose: because you should probably deal with that
commonsteve: you can't decide what is and isn't an illusion with me
commonsteve: now accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: its 2012, its not a big deal anymore
commonsteve: you can't say for sure if the world will end or not
commonsteve: no one can
Magnus_Rose: No I mean no one will care if you come out as gay
Magnus_Rose: its fine, I want you to be happy
commonsteve: then you'll accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: and if thay means you have to question some basic life choices thats cool
commonsteve: accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: just remeber the right man is our there for you somewhere
commonsteve: accept my rematch
commonsteve: now
Magnus_Rose: you've just got to accept who you are man
commonsteve: you called me out for being irrelevant and yet you're doing the exact same thing
Magnus_Rose: if you want to pursue relationships with dudes I'm right behind you
Magnus_Rose: not in a gay way obviously
commonsteve: you know what that makes you?
commonsteve: a hypocrite
Magnus_Rose: the pitcher?
Magnus_Rose: ohhhh right... wait what?
commonsteve: no
commonsteve: a hypocrite
commonsteve: the type no one likes
commonsteve: have fun being hated all your life
Magnus_Rose: actually I'm kind of a big deal
Magnus_Rose: I have many leather bound books
commonsteve: in a non-existant library
Magnus_Rose: and my office smells of rich mahogany
Magnus_Rose: ok, I'm going to say something
Magnus_Rose: I'm just going to put it out there
Magnus_Rose: and you can send it back if you don't like it
Magnus_Rose: I want to be on you
commonsteve: if you're as old and I'm as young as you claim, then you just proved youself to be a pedofile
commonsteve: a homosexual pedofile
commonsteve: at that
Magnus_Rose: I WANT TO BE ON YOU
commonsteve: pathetic
Magnus_Rose: MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE
commonsteve: I only want a rematch
commonsteve: then i'll be out of your skin
commonsteve: got it?
Magnus_Rose:  I'm in a glass case of emotion!
commonsteve: then I suppose youre just going to be an arrogant little brat who relies on luck to win while calling said luck
commonsteve: skill
commonsteve: and you'll just end up suffocating in that glass case
commonsteve: and no one will think about you after you're gone
Magnus_Rose: Boy, this escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast!
commonsteve: in fact, everyone would just take a dump on your grave
commonsteve: should they ever think of you
commonsteve: now
commonsteve: I want a rematch
commonsteve: righ there and right now
commonsteve: just accept and I'll stop pestering you
commonsteve: so that's what you want to do?
Magnus_Rose: you should go find a nice lady
Magnus_Rose: be careful though
commonsteve: I'm aware that no lady would accept me
Magnus_Rose: I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
commonsteve: and quite frankly, I don't give a damn
commonsteve: if that's what you're going to do, then you have proven yourself abosolutely pathetic
commonsteve: you claim you've been laid, and yet I proved you haven't
commonsteve: you call me out for being irrelevant and then became irrelevant yourself
commonsteve: thus, you're also a proven hypocrite
Magnus_Rose: the term is irrevrant
Magnus_Rose: you mean irrevrant
commonsteve: no
Magnus_Rose: as in lacking reverence
commonsteve: the term I'm referring to is Irrelevant
Magnus_Rose: you keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means
commonsteve: Irrelevant means "having nothing to do with"
commonsteve: which sums up your faux flirting
Magnus_Rose: nawwww
commonsteve: yes it does
Magnus_Rose: must be nice for you though
Magnus_Rose: getting a bit of quality time with someone
commonsteve: faux generally mean false, bogus, not real, etc.
Magnus_Rose: thanks for the clarification bro
commonsteve: you're were too retarded to even figure it out for yourself
commonsteve: now
commonsteve: accept my rematch
commonsteve: just do it
commonsteve: or you're simply a pathetic little brat who can't win excpet on sheer luck

At this point I went to the kitchen and my grilfriend takes over. We are now resolved to outlast Commonsteve in whatever it is that we are doing

Magnus_Rose: no thanks
commonsteve: just do it
Magnus_Rose: nope
commonsteve: yes
Magnus_Rose: nope
commonsteve: just do it
commonsteve: just accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: no- dont really have the time
commonsteve: yeah you do
commonsteve: stop lying to yourself
Magnus_Rose: im very busy you see
commonsteve: busy with what?
commonsteve: doing nothing
Magnus_Rose: i have to count all my money, and entertain all these women draped over me
commonsteve: all the women who're in your head only and the nonexistant money you've got
commonsteve: there's plenty of better things to do
commonsteve: like accepting my rematch
Magnus_Rose: actually, in a hilarious turn of events you are speaking to a woman- right now, take in this moment
commonsteve: I quite frankly don't care about that
Magnus_Rose: and I cant accept your rematch, because I am busy doing lady things
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: why are you so worried about this rematch
commonsteve: I don't have to tell you
commonsteve: I want a rematch
commonsteve: plain and simple
Magnus_Rose: honestly, if its to compensate for something then you know- thats a silly way to compensate
commonsteve: just accept, and I'll be on my way
commonsteve: just accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: is it because you are commonsteve and not ultrararesteve
Magnus_Rose: because i see how you'd get a complex from that
commonsteve: I chose commonsteve to spite theidiots who think they're cool just because they chose a name that would sound cool on paper
commonsteve: that's my reason
commonsteve: and you can't change it
commonsteve: no questions asked
Magnus_Rose: i dont want to change it
Magnus_Rose: its a fine name
commonsteve: flattery will get you no where
Magnus_Rose: im not trying to flatter you
commonsteve: sarcasm or no, you technically were
Magnus_Rose: ... right- it wasnt sarcasm
Magnus_Rose: its just a name bro
Magnus_Rose: im sure one day youll be just as good as ultrararesteve
Magnus_Rose: when you balls drop maybe
commonsteve: I'm sticking with commonsteve
Magnus_Rose: and you are no longer a tiny little boy
commonsteve: you act like you can decide what I am, don't you
commonsteve: you have no such power
commonsteve: and guess what?
commonsteve: yo never will
commonsteve: no questions asked
Magnus_Rose: i dont really care about who you are man
Magnus_Rose: i dont want that kind of power
Magnus_Rose: with great power- comes great responsibility
Magnus_Rose: spiderman taught me that
Magnus_Rose: he also said 'don't give rematches to little boys on the internet'
commonsteve: no he didn't
commonsteve: stop lying to yourself
Magnus_Rose: and face it- youll never be as sexy as spiderman
commonsteve: I don't care
Magnus_Rose: id give him SO MANY rematches
Magnus_Rose: he could have as many as he wanted
commonsteve: too bad he isn't real
Magnus_Rose: yeah- i know right
Magnus_Rose: well never mind
commonsteve: now, accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: no thanks
commonsteve: too bad
commonsteve: accept my rematch
Magnus_Rose: look, its really not in your best interests to keep this up
Magnus_Rose: just go find a new match bro
commonsteve: then you're pathetic
Magnus_Rose: nah, im not pathetic
commonsteve: yes you are
Magnus_Rose: you sir- you are the pathetic one
commonsteve: how so?
Magnus_Rose: THIS IS A CHILDRENS CARD GAME
commonsteve: so?
commonsteve: what are?
commonsteve: are you scared that you
commonsteve: will lose in our rematch
commonsteve: you claim it's meaningless
Magnus_Rose: im eating now
commonsteve: in which case, there is no true reason NOT to accept
Magnus_Rose: good luck in your future endeavours
commonsteve: just accept my rematch
commonsteve: you're an absolute waste of life
commonsteve: and you know it
commonsteve: fone
commonsteve: go right ahead and deny it all
Magnus_Rose: BUT WHO WAS "FONE"
commonsteve: you only prove my point
commonsteve: that's all you can do at this point anyway
commonsteve: you put it in caps?
commonsteve: how immature
Magnus_Rose: YES
Magnus_Rose: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
commonsteve: you act like caps lock = awesome
commonsteve: it isn't
commonsteve: and it never will be
commonsteve: and you will never change that
commonsteve: pathetic
Magnus_Rose: it is if you're daniel bryan
Magnus_Rose: google it bitch
commonsteve: oh, using stronger words, are we?
Magnus_Rose: i can use it
Magnus_Rose: because im a lady
commonsteve: by using an excuse
Magnus_Rose: im like tasty chinese food, and you're not
Magnus_Rose: you're like kung pow chicken
Magnus_Rose: that makes you my kung pow bitch
commonsteve: meanwhile, you're an overweight slut who acts superior to everyone else
Magnus_Rose: now take your fake desk of cards, shine them up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass
commonsteve: why?
Magnus_Rose: why do think
commonsteve: why?
Magnus_Rose: why do you think?
commonsteve: why?
commonsteve: you want to know why?
commonsteve: you want to know why you're such an overweight slut?
commonsteve: no one would like you
commonsteve: ever
Magnus_Rose: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU THINK
commonsteve: umad?
Magnus_Rose: i activate my trap card
commonsteve: you have no trap cards
commonsteve: this isn't a duel
Magnus_Rose: i activate the most electrifying man in sports entertainment
commonsteve: you couldn't play one even if you had no choice
Magnus_Rose: A DUEL OF WITS
Magnus_Rose: if I had no choice then I wouldnt have a choice
Magnus_Rose: you see how that would work
Magnus_Rose: not having a choice
Magnus_Rose: because one would exist
Magnus_Rose: unlike this situation
Magnus_Rose: where I do
commonsteve: wow
commonsteve: ranting
commonsteve: that the best you can do?
commonsteve: umad?
Magnus_Rose: no im very chilled
Magnus_Rose: its a fine sunday evening


And with that the conversation ended. What just happened? I don't know. Did we get trolled? I don't know. Sometimes the internet can be a very strange place.


Stay Crunchy